Sunday, 5 April 2015

WAR SHATTERS UNEASY PEACE. In an act of wanton aggression Gormenghast and its dastardly allies Borogrovia and Strackenz have broken the peace of this last year and launched assaults on Covonia and Albion. While Covonia succumbed to the fiendish underhanded owl-botheres the noble tribes of Albion held back the enigmatic Borogrovian legions. The Knights of St. Elmo are taking an extended religious holiday and have refused to take sides for the moment as apparently their holidays involve a lot of wine and cake.

STOP PRESS. In light of new information received we must correct our previous statement and can report that it was, in fact, Albion who recommenced hostilities. Put under unbearable political and economic pressure by Gormenghast and its dastardly allies Borogrovia and Strackenz, brave Lord Effingham has struck the first blow for freedom against an overbearing triumvirate of imperial aggression. Baron Bomburst of Vulgaria, while endeavouring until the very final hour to broker a lasting peace, has reluctantly been drawn into the conflict.

2 comments:

  1. I believe it was Albion who declared this war, for reasons which are still obscure. The fact that they and their allies were unprepared for the hostilities hardly warrants describing the subsequent fighting as 'wanton aggression'. There is also the matter over Vulgaria's underhand behaviour, initially offering support to both sides!
    Yours,
    An Aggreived Correspondent of Suburbia.

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    1. Dear Aggreived of Suburbia, facts are like sewers: always fluid and unpleasant if examined too closely. Nevertheless, we are pleased to correct any inaccurate detail in our reporting however trifling and pettifogging. Thank you for your note.

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